The Dreaded "What If's".....

A road of uncertainties, insecurities and the dreaded 'what if's'...

For the last year I've been struggling with a spinal injury in my neck. After trying anything I could that was non-invasive, even after being told surgery was my only option, I found myself wondering 'what if' at almost every turn. What if the doctors are wrong and they really only want paid big bucks to perform a surgery that isn't necessary? What if the surgery causes more or different problems down the road? What if I can manage through life with the pain I've got? What if I'm that one in a long shot that ends up paralyzed or worse? wow.
Those are some heavy what if's. I mean it.

I am a big proponent of 'knowledge is power'. I truly believe the more you know, the better off you are. So I was off and running to find the answers to my what if's. Personally, I believe in sharing knowledge to empower others. After all, what good is it to know something and keep it to yourself? For example, if you know a great technique or soothing way to calm a crying baby, wouldn't you share it with your children when they become parents? Of course you would. It's a no brainer. It keeps everyone happier and safer. Keeping that sort of thing to yourself just makes you, well, mean!

I also don't think anyone should ever take the word of just one doctor when it comes to our health. There are many methods to correcting problems. Many methods to soothing crying babies, if you will. That being said, I took it upon myself to learn about kinesiology, a more homeopathic approach to pain management. It worked well for me for quite awhile. But, the truth of the matter with that approach was that is was just that. Pain management. I needed to resolve the problem. I wanted my life back! It may sound crazy, but I really want to do a push up again! Pain management is simply not going to allow that.

I started researching other surgical procedures. More options. There were really only four. Three surgical options ~ or do nothing. Well known & respected surgeons were only performing one of the three surgical options. So, that led me to wonder.... Why aren't the big dogs performing these other two procedures? Is it money? Is it risk? Is it long term results? So, more research. Multiple conversations with surgical nurses who were willing to discuss my scenario and give me all the information I craved. Many web searches resulting in videos of procedures that quite frankly, no one who is considering that procedure should watch.

Ultimately, I decided upon the surgery that all the 'big dogs' performed. The one I suppose we could call, 'tried and true'. I am now recovering. It has not been an easy road thus far. I will not lie. But the bottom line is, that at the end of the day, all my 'what if's' can't really be answered. As the only way to really know the answer is to choose a path and follow it. And then, you'll still only know the answer to one of your 'what if's'.

So, if you're struggling with some 'what if's' of your own. Do your research, ask your questions, and take your time. In the end, you may not get all the answers, but at least you will be more confident in the path you end up choosing. We have to believe in our choices and trust our instincts. Have faith. And don't let the 'what if's' get you down!